One Saturday ...

Jogging

Don't know if it would last, but I have started my evening jogging lately. Thanks Ann & Anita for their recommendation.

Actually the stadium is great - big, clean, water front location, and best of all, near to home. With the cool winter in HK, it's the best location for exercise. Although I do not run but simply jog or even walk, I feel so good.

Life is so simple you see, a good night sleep, a stable work, food that can make me feel full and some exercise that these make up my day.

平淡是福

What would happen if ...

The movie I saw last night showed 2 girls bravely came out for their sexual orientation. What would happen if I told my family that I were gay??? Amazing ...

泣いちゃいそうよ － ともざかりえ

This is what I really want to do ... nothing to do with the lyrics~

一緒にいるそれだけでも　　しあわせだと思ってた
だけど今は　もっともっとなんて　　欲張りだね

いつもの道　　歩きながら　　曲がり角で立ち止る
急に消えた　私　探している　　その顔を見たくて

泣いちゃいそうよ　　私の方が　　あなたのいない世界
泣いちゃいそうよ　　私の方が　　こんなに愛してる

どんな時も　　わたしだけを　　見つめていて欲しいのよ
愛はいつも　　不安　隠すように　　わがままになるのね

泣いちゃうなんて　　私らしくない　　あなたの腕のなかで
泣いちゃうなんて　　私らしくない　　なにかを確かめる

泣いちゃいそうよ　　私の方が　　あなたのいない世界
泣いちゃいそうよ　　私の方が　　こんなに愛してる　　あなたを愛してる

HKLGFF 2008

It's over, finally. After a week's movie going, I can make a summary on the movies I've watched in the film festival, which I'm very satisfied with.

End of Love (HK) - free preview
A very disappointing movie. I understand the director has a lot of messages that he wants to share with the audiences, but just too much making the movie losing focus. Drug abuse? Family acceptance of being gay? Gay relationship? Gay prostitution? It seems everything's around the subject "gay", but the gay character is not the main point - it's about drug abuse, love relationship, prostitution, trust and understanding. GAY IS JUST NOT THE MAIN POINT IN THIS MOVIE.

Opening movie - Artemisia (Taiwan)
This is a female movie rather than a gay movie. The heroine - the mother Ai - is a very brave woman. Bringing up her 2 children all by herself, that one of them is gay (which is nothing wrong) and the other has an unmarried child (and it's nothing wrong too). The movie illustrates this brave woman faces the traditional Chinese society with two "not that ordinary" children and one innocent grand children with love.

Me ... Myself (Thailand)
I don't think the movie relates to gay or transvesites but so happened Tan is dumped by his lover who happens to be a married man, and he dances in a night club run by transvesites or transsexual people. His love with Oom is so ordinary and the movie is of main stream. I like it very much. BTW, "Tan" is quite a handsome Thai boy =)

Football Undercover (Germany)
It reveals the secret face of Iran's woman life. part of. You can never imagine they simply have no human rights there - they have to wear a hair scarf everywhere they go. I think the most ridiculous thing is football players have to wear long sleeves T-shirts and trousers (not pants) to play the game, even when there is no male in the stadium, not to mention all the political tricks people have played to stop this international friendship game. Girls, treasure your gift of having your say in the society - this is not a must, and at lease women would not supress women here. Thanks God~

Were The World Mine (USA)
What a musical~! I would not comment on the faces of the boys as they really are not my type (regardless they are gay or not), but Timothy (Tanner Cohen) really has a good voice. They portrait "A Mid-Summer Night's Dream" gayly and the result is very good.

Candy Rain (Taiwan)
This is an interesting movie. "One apartment, Four female couples, Eleven girls entangled" - this is the slogan of the movie. Indeed, the world of female love is always so tender while fightings would come in any form - runaway, "cold war", fist fighting ... and the injury it creates is something you cannot imagine. The casting of the movie is very good, especially the innocent U (who looks like Gigi Leung) who portraits a shy tomboy. But the part by Karena Lam is just so-so that I'm a bit disappointed.

Otto; or, Up with Dead People (Germany)
Don't know how to descrive this movie. Cult? Political? Whatever. Through the zombie Otto, I think director Bruce LaBruce wants to strive for ordinary rights for gay people, does he? This is a hilarious movie, a lot of fun scene, especially in one scene, a zomie tears off the body of a man and then that man becomes another zombie and there is a hole in his torn body, and ... that zombie fucked him in the hole of the body ... I couldn'd stop laughly ... loudly.

Closing Movie - I can't think straight (UK)
I rushed to the movie after class, and I was rewarded. Although the movie is kind of a "fairy tale" that the families and people around the 2 gorgeous girls can easily accept their sexual orientation, but the 2 girls are really ... charming. Tala is a very sexy woman and I'm sure even straight woman would easily fall for her. Leyla is a very talented shy girl but she turns out to be very truthful to her love - Tala. She is so brave to come out and fight for her love. I like this movie that it gave me a warm sweet dream~

Inferiority

This is a very negative feeling - but this is how I feel in office.

What have I been doing all these years? Trying to do the best and hoping for a better position and better living for my family. Am I wrong? No matter what I've done - I'm not good enough, in any and all areas.

What is a "manager"? A people who manages EVERYTHING - a very general clerical staff. This is my interpretation. From the word, you can see this is a singular noun - no "s" that means "everything to be managed by him / her alone". This is the expectation towards a manager so if I cannot do things well in any and all areas, I'm no good. And in fact, I'm no good in this office.

I got my degree only at the age of 30 - old, and now I'm try to buying my master degree - with money, I know nothing about my work - what is HR & Admin, I don't know. Of what use I'm to this company? I cannot even fight for my own work - nobody will listen to you in the hell HQ. So of what use I am? I no longer know in which area I'm good at ...

Irritating

Life in office is getting more and more irritating. Why my "good intention" is misunderstood and distorted? Why people becomes more and more unreasonably demanding? I started to doubt about myself ... after all, me - myself, maybe the source of all problems.

Irritation, frustration, overwhelming ... please feel free to put any adjective that can describe your emotion negatively on me - you MUST get me right ...

Mixed feeling

Browsed the updates of friends on Facebook and found their photos. The feeling was ... complicated.

Happy to see my friends had a great day, smile brightly in front of the camera. And ... jealous to see they were happy, smiling brightly in front of the camera.

Why? This is the question I always ask myself lately. When everybody's enjoyinig themselves, I'm stay at home, doing ... just nothing. My "religious" friend would tell me, this is my "mission". But ... why is this "mission" assigned to me but not my brothers and sisters-in-law? Why I cannot put down everything and do something that I really want to? Why? Why? Why?

I'm so tired ... so tired ...