Inferiority

This is a very negative feeling - but this is how I feel in office.

What have I been doing all these years? Trying to do the best and hoping for a better position and better living for my family. Am I wrong? No matter what I've done - I'm not good enough, in any and all areas.

What is a "manager"? A people who manages EVERYTHING - a very general clerical staff. This is my interpretation. From the word, you can see this is a singular noun - no "s" that means "everything to be managed by him / her alone". This is the expectation towards a manager so if I cannot do things well in any and all areas, I'm no good. And in fact, I'm no good in this office.

I got my degree only at the age of 30 - old, and now I'm try to buying my master degree - with money, I know nothing about my work - what is HR & Admin, I don't know. Of what use I'm to this company? I cannot even fight for my own work - nobody will listen to you in the hell HQ. So of what use I am? I no longer know in which area I'm good at ...